Dear Birth Mother,
We are Kris and Jay from the San Francisco Bay Area. We are asking for your help, and we thank you for considering our letter. There was never a question that we wanted to start a family shortly after we were married. We were saddened to learn that we would not be able to conceive a child naturally and decided welcoming children into our family through adoption would be a wonderful way to realize our dreams. We look forward to meeting you and learning more about what your wishes are during this process. We hope this letter gives you a helpful glimpse into our family life.
We met several years ago and went on a double-date with two of our mutual friends. There wasn’t a “love” connection at that time and we went down our separate paths. Jay married, and Kris remained single. Fast forward 10 years later, Jay was divorced, and we reconnected in 2003 then married in 2006. We share the same values; those of mutual respect, importance of family and friends, loyalty and trust. We think we have a good sense of humor and feel were pretty grounded.
Jay is originally from Iran and came here on his own when he was only 17 years-old. He came to the United States to get an education and worked diligently to make that happen and essentially supported himself. He holds a BS degree in finance and is self-employed in retail and real-estate mortgage. Kris was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. She received her bachelor’s degree in behavioral science and worked with non-profits for several years after graduation.
We share in the lives of Jay’s daughter, Kris’ nieces and nephew, and our friends’ kids. We’ve baked together, played board games, gone on hikes, out to the beach, and on camping trips. Right now, our family is made up of Jay, Kris, Jasmin, and our two dogs (Cody a Maltese mix and Lucy our Lab puppy). We are also foster parents through a lab rescue organization based out of San Francisco.
Jasmin is now 16 years-old and is a high-school junior. She does well in school, enjoys gymnastics, singing, and spending time with her friends. Kris’ mom is a fabulous grandmother and babysat Kris’ brother’s kids when they were infants/toddlers. She adores them just as much as they adore her, as will be the same for our child. Jasmin met her grandma when she was around 9 years-old and their relationship seems to have developed and flourished naturally. Kris’ mom lives the San Francisco Bay Area, in the same house where Kris and her brother grew up with both their parents. Her brother lives nearby and both are a constant part of our lives. Our child will a have a big sister and cousins who are eager to begin spending time together.
We both love to travel and especially enjoy meeting different people from around the world and learning about their culture and way of life. As a couple, we’ve traveled to Bali and Peru, and as a family, we’ve gone to Mexico and on local camping trips to Big Sur, Santa Cruz, and Sonoma. We also enjoy going to Lake Tahoe and to the Russian River.
What Kris says about Jay:
Jay has always known how to put a smile on my face. He was born in Iran and lived with his mother and father. His parents divorced when he was 3; Jay lived with his mom and had visits with his dad. He had a lot of extended family members nearby and was raised with them. I think he would have liked to have seen his dad much more and because of his childhood experience, he puts forth so much effort and commitment to his family. He is a devoted dad to his daughter and cares for my mom in an endearing and loving way. I think he’s a loving, intelligent and supportive human being.
He is a hard worker, but also knows how to relax and take time to focus on himself and family. He enjoys going to the gym, swimming, hiking, and on walks. He is not afraid to take chances and works very hard in his career. I think much of that is attributed to his background, as he came to the U.S. when he was only 17 years-old to pursue a better education. He put himself through his last year of high school, lived on his own, and supported himself with his first job as a busboy. He put himself through college, getting a bachelor’s degree in finance and is now a self-employed franchisee and mortgage broker. I know our future child will benefit greatly from Jay’s motivation. He’s a curious participant in every new adventure and has a natural ability to make others comfortable in his presence.
What Jay says about Kris:
I would describe Kris as caring, intelligent, funny, sweet, and sarcastic. She always makes sure everyone’s wants and needs are taken care of before her own. Kris was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her immediate family consists of her mom and one older brother, who’s married with three children. Kris’ dad passed away several years ago, and her parents were married for 35 years. I didn’t have the opportunity to meet Kris’ dad, but it’s clear that he was a very special man as Kris’ mom still gets teary when reminiscing about their life together.
She graduated with a degree in behavioral science, she worked in the non-profit sector right out of college. Kris likes the outdoors, taking care of our dogs, baking, yoga, and reading. Whenever our friends/family come over with their kids, she goes out of her way to make sure they’re taken care of, whether it’s simply talking to them, keeping them occupied with a fun activity, or just spending time with them. Kris and I started dating when my daughter was 8 years-old. Jasmin had a difficult time with my and her mother‘s divorce and was very protective of her mom. She initially struggled in school; Kris interviewed and hired various tutors, and we both stayed on top of her to finish her homework, even though Jasmin resented Kris, the most, and let her know that in various ways. I definitely love and admire Kris for her patience, commitment and unrelenting ability to stay focused and level-headed in stressful and, or sensitive situations. Needless to say, it wasn’t easy, but we managed to work through it together.
We have built our life based upon an appreciation of what we have, essentially one another, our family, our health, and wonderful friends. We made the decision for Kris to stay home while Jasmin was in school. There was a lot of transition for Jasmin when we got married. She was just entering the 6th grade, transferring to a new school, and had to share her dad with Kris. Kris keeps everything organized, while Jay is a great cook. We want to raise confident, compassionate, and bright children. Our parenting style is listening and communicating expectations clearly. We try to maintain an environment that’s judgment free, but somewhat structured where children can feel confident and secure.
Family and friends have always been important to us, and our close friends have also been welcomed and considered part of our family. We celebrate with them on special occasions and plan to raise our child in this type of setting where he or she can receive the love of family from our entire extended community.
We’re fortunate enough to live in a nice neighborhood with great public schools, parks, walking trails, and a nearby library. We have a nice sized home with a great backyard. We enjoy entertaining and have barbecues and dinners with friends pretty often. We also like to go to the farmer’s market on Sundays.
We are really excited and a little anxious to have a baby in the house. We are expecting lots of diaper changing and sleepless nights, but are ready to open our home and cherish the baby who comes to us. We know this must be a very difficult decision and wish you peace-of-mind, love, and support on the path ahead of you, whatever you may decide.
Thank you for taking the time to read and learn a little bit about us. Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions and, or if you want to hear more about our family.